Before you
by momma22js
Summary: The untold story of Carlise and Esme rated T for domestic violence and language
1. Prologue

Before you

_This story is about Carlise and Esme... Before they found each other. The Point of view will change between Esme and Carlise and yes you will find out how they meet. _

Prologue

Carlise POV

Another day at the hospital another college telling me I should go home. I had been working the ER for 20 straight hours I suppose someone was bound to notice. Course having Edward their made things a little more tolerable. He wouldn't be worried though. We didn't need to eat or sleep, but I had to keep up appearances. Humans needed to eat to sleep to be with their families. I walked out of the Emergency room doors I climbed in to my car and drove home. As I expected Edward was their sitting at him Piano playing the most beautiful pieces.

"Hello Carlise" He said in a pleasant tone.

"Edward" I gave him a nod and a quick smile.

"Would you like to go hunting?" He asked.

"Perhaps later, would you like to do something else?" I asked him.

"What did you have in mind?"

"A game of chess?" I asked.

This widened his eyes normally we didn't play games like that because he could read my mind, but I was desperate for a distraction. I hated the reminder that my life wasn't complete, that I was missing love. Since I had changed Edward the time was more manageable and the ache of loneliness had dulled some.

"Have you thought about changing someone else?" Edward asked me. My thoughts must be making him miserable for him to ask me something like that.

"Of course I have, but you know I would never force this life on someone who had another choice, besides, love can't be forced." I told him

"I know, but you have been so misrable" he looked at me with pity.

"And your not?" I inquired.

"No, I wouldn't have chosen this life Carlise, but I will make due with what I have been delt."

"I'm sorry" I told him, sincerity rang in those two words.

"Please don't be Carlise. I am glad I can bring you companionship" he said with a crooked smile.

He was such a sweet boy. Well I guess man now after so many years I hardly kept track now. We sat and played chess for hours until I could deny my thirst no more and we set off to hunt.


	2. My Angel

Chapter 1

My Angel

Esme's POV

"Esme?" My mothers voice startled me out of my day dream.

"Yes mother?" I called back.

"Darling what are you doing out there you should be inside doing your chores" she came to the door and gave me a gentle smile. "Tired of being cooped up?" she asked and I nodded in response.

"Go on go play but be back in time to do your chores before you father gets home, he'll have both our hides if you aren't." her mother said.

"Yes momma" I said and took off towards the back of our farm. There was an old tree that I like to climb on.

I hiked my skirt up a little and started my climb up the tree. I was almost to the top when my skirt got caught under my foot though I didn't realize it until it was to late. My dress tore and my foot slipped. My head hit the branch and I fell. As I fell I realized to late that I was to far up to not escape this injured. I hit the ground with a large thud I felt something snap and slipped off in to unconsciousness.

I came to later on I didn't know how long I had been out but I could feel rain drops hitting my face. MY fathers voice calling my name. I tried to speak but couldn't the pain in my leg and head was unbearable.

"Esme?" my fathers voice called. "Esme Platt where are you?" his voice was getting closer. I found my voice and called out.

"Father!"

My father came to my side. "Esme, oh, hold still hon, your leg look broken." he said I felt his arms lift me up my head rested against his chest and he carried me back to the house.

"Elizabeth! Get the car door Esme has fallen" he called. I heard my mother gasp from the house doorway. I heard her run to the car door. My father lay me on the back seat and got in. My mother slid in beside him in the front.

I was in and out all the way there. My father pulled in to the hospital and gently lifted me out.

"Can I help you?" said a velvet voice. It was unlike any voice I had ever heard like an Angel was speaking.

"My daughter fell shes been in and out of consciousness." my father explained.

I heard a gurney being pulled up and my father set me down. I had my eyes calmped shut because my head hurt so much.

"What's her name?" the velvet voice asked.

"Esme, Esme Platt" my mother spoke up.

"Hello Esme, my name is Doctor Cullen. Can you hear me?" he asked.

"Yes" I whimpered.

"Good I need you to tell me what hurts." his voice was so light so soft so perfect.

"My head and my leg" I said.

"Can you open your eyes Esme?" he asked. I dreaded it but I opened them slowly the light assaulted my eyes making my head hurt worse.

"Thats it good" his face, his smile, god he was beautiful. His blond hair, his full lips, his chiseled features. He didn't look like he could be much older then me.

"Wait out here Mr and Mrs Platt I will have the nurse bring you in after we have looked her over." Carlise reassured them. The gurney came to a stop I felt cold hands on my forehead and breathed a sigh of relief. "That feel better?" he asked curiously.

"Yes" I said simply.

"Good, lets have a look at your leg shall we, I will have to move your skirt." he said moving down my right side.

"Okay" I closed my eyes again. I felt him move my skirt up to my knee and his cold hands touched my skin.

"Definitely broken" he said. "We will have to set it and cast it. The setting will hurt do you want pain medication now?" he asked.

"No" I said forcefully I didn't want to sleep in fear my Angel would not come back.

"Okay" he said caustiously. He called in a nurse to help him. "Alright one two three" I jerked my leg and it went back in to place. I bit my lip holding back a scream darkness threatned to take hold of me again but I fought it back. "Are you okay?" he asked coming back up towards my head.

"Yes" I didn't trust my self to say more then that.

"Nurse go get some morphine" he commanded. When she left I looked up at him with pleading eyes.

"Please no medication" I said.

"Why? Doesn't it hurt?"

"Yes it does" I admitted. "But I don't want to go to sleep"

"Why not?" he asked.

I blushed and looked away from me. He laughed, his laugh was so musical so beautiful just like his face.

"Take the medication I will be back to check on you later, I promise" he smiled and went to get my parents.

They hurried in my father looked worried, or was it angry.

"Esme Platt, what the hell were you doing by that tree?" he demanded.

"I was climbing" I said sheepishly.

"You were climbing instead of doing your chores?"

"Yes Father." I said simply.

"When you get home you are I some serious trouble, and you!" he turned pointing an excusing finger at my mother. You let her get away with to much!" he growled.

"Alright deary I have your medication right here." said the nurse walking in. "I'm going to have to ask you folks to leave" she said. "You can come back tomorrow" My father looked like he was going to protest but Doctor Cullen walked back in.

"Alright Miss. Platt, We will cast your leg and then give you the medication" he said. "Leave the meds right there nurse I will give them to her when I am done." Doctor Cullen said. The nurse nodded and did as he asked.

Doctor Cullen worked slowly but surely. It was like he was finding every excuse to stay longer. I liked it. His beauty was beyond words, he had honey yellow hair, and topaz colored eyes. He was very pale with a lean but muscular body.

"How are you doing Esme?" he asked.

"Okay" I said, I was okay in his presense. "We are going to keep you here for a few days" he smiled.

"Will you be tending to me?" I asked.

"Yes I will be in as much as I can to check on you" he declared himself done and injected the morphine in to my IV then left the room. I slowly drifted off to sleep that night Doctor Cullen was all I dreamed about.


	3. Didn't see that one coming

Chapter Two

Didn't see this one coming

CPOV

Shes a child. I reminded myself, maybe when shes older. God she was beautiful with that heart shaped face and that caramel hair her sent was enticing but not in the way of hunger in the way that I was attracted to her physically. When she smiled she had the cutest dimples and her eyes god those green eyes. She didn't flinch when I touched her she had leaned in to my touch. Most people shied away afraid of me as they should be but this girl was much more.

"I'm heading out to get some sleep" I told the nurse my shift had been over hours ago.

"Alright Doctor Cullen, sweet dreams" she said seductively. I would never get over how the women acted around me it was flattering but some times it got annoying and right now I was annoyed.

I walked to my car in the dark and drove to my two bed room apartment that I shared with Edward, my adopted son.

I opened the door to the apartment and Edward was sitting waiting for me.

"Welcome home Carlise" he said looking up from his book "You are blocking me" he frowned.

"Yes" I said simply.

"Something happened at work and you don't want me to know" he said setting the book down and standing up.

"Yes" I admited.

"Tell me Carlise" he pleaded.

"I... I met a girl at work today" he said sighing.

"A girl? As in a little girl or as in a women girl?" he asked.

"Both" I sat down on the sofa.

Edward pinched his nose between his finger and thumb like he did when he was concentrating or stressed.

"You aren't making any sense." he accused.

"This 16 year old girl came in today, broke her leg and has a concussion."

"That doesn't sound so bad." he looked up at me.

"It wouldn't have been if I wasn't attracted to her, physically attracted."

"Wait, your in love with a 16 year old? Thats not so bad, shes not to much younger then you."

"Yeah do you want your mom to be a year younger then you, what will you peers think if your mom is in school with you"

"Good point" he said and leaned back. "What are you going to do?"

"Treat her and then we will be moving again"

"I understand" he said.

"Thank you" I said.

The next morning I walked in to see Esme Platt sitting up with a tray of food in front of her. "Good morning Miss Platt" I said trying to avoid looking at her.

"Hello Doctor Cullen" her voice was so cheerful today, she sounded so thrilled to see me. God why did she have to have a voice like an Angel.

"How are you feeling this morning." I asked.

"Better thank you" she replied, I stole a glance at her face she had a beautiful smile on her face with her little dimples. My still heart melted.

I sat down at the edge of her bed. I couldn't leave.

"Can I ask you something Doctor Cullen?" she asked.

"I believe you just did, but please call me Carlise" I smiled.

"Okay, Carlise, how come someone like you isn't married?" she asked.

"Oh" the question caught me off guard.

"I was, once" I said this was the lie I had been telling. "But she died during child birth, my son and career have been my life since then" I told her trying to sound as honest as I could.

"Oh, I am so sorry, What was her name?"

This caused me to pause no one had ever asked her name so I had never thought one up I thought quickly, "Scarlet" I told her. "Scarlet Cullen"

"Pretty name" she said thoughtfully.

"What's your sons name?" she asked.

"What's with the twenty questions?" I asked her.

"Just curious." she said innocently.

"His name is Edward and hes 17" I told her.

"Oh, I bet he is just as handsome as you" she said blushing. It was so pretty on her.

"He looks more like his mother then me" I told her. "So what were you doing climbing a tree?" I asked turning the subject away from me.

"I was playing, my skirt caught under my foot and I fell." she said fluidly.

"Your lucky you didn't break your neck" My tone was serious now.

"I know" she said looking down ashamed. I couldn't stand her looking like that.

"But you didn't so it's okay" I told her lifting her chin with my finger. "I need to attend to my other patients but I will be back." I assured her.

"Okay" she looked disappointed.

"I promise I will be" I told her my voice holding a lot of finality.

I left the room and attended to the rest of my patients but my mind was filled with images of her.

When I returned to her room she was asleep from the morphine. I sighed and walked back down the hallway to my office.

The next two days continued like this, I would sit and talk with her for an hour or so leave come back she would be asleep. I would do paper work and check back later she would always be awake and would light up when I walked in the room. I dreaded today, she would be released and I would have to leave. I couldn't be around her and not interfere with her life.

As I wheeled her out to her waiting parents I said my good byes. I checked on the rest of my patients told them my good byes and handed my cases over to the other doctors. When I arrived home Edward was waiting the apartment all packed up and our forged documents ready to go.


	4. Good Bye

_OKAY so this chapter has a little bit of domestic violince just a warning_

_DISCLAIMER: Forgot to add this on the first page.... I do not own twilight or any of its character I do however own the characters that I created. I wish I owned Carlise becasue hes so damn hott.... ANYWAY_

_ENJOY REVIEW PLEASE Okay done now you can read it..._

Chapter Three

Good bye

EPOV

"Welcome home Esme" my mother said.

"Go to your room Esme" my father ordered.

I nodded and lumbered up the stairs with my bulky cast. I closed the door to my room and sat on my bed. I thought back to Carlise's good bye it sounded so formal like he was leaving and I would never see him again.

_Your being ridiculous Esme he is a doctor at the hospital he wouldn't leave. _I thought to my self. _Then again what do you care you were just his patient not some potential wife._ God what was wrong with me. I knew he couldn't have feelings for me why would he I was nothing special I was a farmers daughter. Besides he already had a 17 year old son. He didn't look old enough though.

"Esme" my father's voice called up to me. I limped over to the door.

"Yes Father?" I called opening the door.

"Get down here!" he barked.

I sat at the edge of the stairs and lowered myself down one step at a time it was easier then trying to walk. At the base of the stairs my father stood waiting his foot tapping on the floor impatiently.

"Esme, I want to know why you were in that tree" he said.

"I was playing father." I told him.

"Why weren't you doing your chores?" He asked his voice betraying his anger.

"I didn't want to" I said my voice getting smaller.

"You didn't want to?" he bellowed and slapped me a crossed the face. "Esme Platt I swear to god if you defy me one more time their will be consequence!"

"Yes father" I cowered.

"Get outside and do your chores!" he growled.

"Jonathan, she can't her cast" my mother said. He wheeled on the spot and slapped her too.

"Stay out of this Elizabeth!" he roared.

I saw the tears fall down my mothers face. I wanted so badly to go over and hug her but I didn't want to bring my father wrath upon us anymore then I already had. I trudged out the door trying my hardest to keep my cast clean as I fed the animals, brushed down the horses and made sure they all had water. I swept the barn and cleaned out the stalls. By the time I was done night had fallen and my mother was calling me in for dinner.

Dinner was a silent affair. My mother and I dared not to anger my father further. After dinner I was sent to bed. I lay on my bed exhausted closing my eyes I drifted off and dreamed of Carlise like I had every night since I met him. His Angel face filled my every dream, walking on the beach hand and hand. Some dreams were more explicit then other but always with him. I was obsessed.

The weeks passed and my mother brought me back to the hospital to have my cast removed. I was glad to be free of it. Walking with it off was difficult at first but after a few minutes I was able to with mo problem. Doctor Cullen was no where to be found so when my mother left the room I asked Doctor Richards where he was.

"Doctor Cullen left weeks ago right after you were discharged. He said it was time for him and his son to move on. They wanted to go to a smaller town." he said.

"Oh" my heart sank.

"Yeah a lot of women have had that reaction, happy birthday by the way Miss. Platt."

"Thank you Doctor" I told him and walked out to the front where my mother was arguing with the receptionist.

"Whats wrong mom?" I asked.

"Shes saying all your bills were covered I want to know by who."

"Ah here it is Mrs. Platt, it appears Doctor Cullen covered them." the women said.

"Oh is he here I would like to thank him then" my mother grinned at the thought of seeing him again.

"No he left weeks ago, I think for Maine" the receptionist told her. I could see the disappointment on her face.

"Oh okay, thank you. Come now Esme" My mother said ushering me out the door.

"Esme" my mother said when we got in the car. "Here, its money I have saved up anda bus ticket, I want you to get out of here, I have family in Wisconsin." she said as she handed me an envelop. I looked at her shocked.

"Why?" I demanded.

"Because there are things that go on in that house that you don't need to know, I am begging you if you love me and trust me you will take this money and this ticket and you will go live with your Aunt in Madison" I stared in to her eyes, I could see the pain and sincerity in them.

"Okay" I told her. She drove to the bus station and pulled a suitcase out of the truck and handed it to me.

"Their is food and a weeks worth of clothing you should be able to get more when you get there your Aunt is the same size as you. What ever you do, don't come back here and don't write me or your father I am begging you Esme listen to me. Don't look back." she said I nodded. "Promise me, you will find a nice man and have a happy family. That you will find a man that loves you unconditionally." she said with so much conviction.

"I promise" I told her.

"I love you Esme, I love you so much, Goodbye." tears streamed down her face and she hugged me so tightly I couldn't breath. I was never going to see my mother again that much I knew.

"Good bye momma I love you too" I got on to the bus and never looked back.


	5. New Beginnings

Chapter Four

New Beginnings

CPOV

"Ready?" I asked. He nodded and we piled in to my car and moving truck and headed north out of Columbus. We drove North until we reached Bangor, Maine. We pulled in to the driveway of the house I had purchased. It had been on the out skirts of town and was untouched by the great fire. This seemed like the perfect place to be.

A fire had spread through down town Bangor causing half the city to be burned to the ground. They were in desperate need of good doctors and Edward and I just happened to both be licensed doctors.

The story this time was that we were friends, colleagues that had lost their families and decided to start a new in a different state and city. He was going by his human last name and I was going by mine.

"Hello?" said a voice behind me. I turned to see a women about 20 with her daughter.

"Hello" Edward said and smiled.

"My name is Annie, welcome to the neighborhood" she said with a smile.

"Nice to meet you Annie. I am Doctor Carlise Cullen and this is Doctor Edward Mason"

"Oh, its nice to meet you" Annie said looking Edward over with hungry eyes. "What brings you guys to Bangor?" Annie asked.

"We heard that you guy's needed some good doctors up this way." I said with a smile.

"You aren't..."

"No we aren't, our wives died in an auto accident, we are colleagues, and decided to travel together for the time being, to support each other in this trying time." Edward explained having read her mind.

"Oh, I am sorry to hear that about your wives. Again welcome" Annie picked up her daughter and hurried off.

"This is going to be interesting, perhaps we should get unpacked and then head down to the hospital." I suggested. Edward nodded.

It took forever to get things out of the truck at human pace but we managed and set everything inside before heading for the hospital. It was a relatively decent size.

"Can I help you?" said the receptionist as we walked in.

"Yes we are reporting in I am Doctor Carlise Cullen, and this is Doctor Edward Mason."

"Ah! We weren't expecting you for a few more days, I'm Charlotte, follow me I will take you to Doctor Nickleson. He is in charge of the hospital staff." she said with a wide smile. A smile I had come to recognize as infatuation.

"Thank you Charlotte" Edward gave her a warm smile.

She led us back into the back of the hospital their was an office she left us there. I knocked and we entered when we were called.

"Can I help you?" the older gentleman asked his gray hair was short and thinning.

"Doctor Nickleson?" I asked.

"Thats me, who are you?" he asked gruffly.

"Doctor Carlise Cullen, this is Doctor Edward Mason"

"Aren't you a little young to be Doctors?" he asked suspiciously. I produced our documents for him and lay them on his desk.

He picked them up and read them carefully then looked up at us. "Everything seems to be in order Mr Cullen, Mr Mason. Welcome to Eastern Maine Medical Center, I need you guys to report to the burn ward. The fire has left a lot of people injured." he told us.

"Yes thank you" Edward said and pulled me out of the room. We walked silently up to the burn ward. Edward kept pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers as he always did when peoples thoughts bothered him.

_If this is to much Edward you can go_

He shook his head no. "I'm okay" he whispered

The burn ward was extensive. Beds lined the walls moans of pain could be heard. I found the doctor in charge and he assigned us our patients. Edward and I walked towards the back of the room where the children were. God I hated treating children, it always broke my heart to see them in pain.

"Alicia?" I said softly leaning over her. She couldn't have been more then 5 years old. "Alicia my name is Doctor Cullen but you can call me Carlise." She looked at me with wide frightened brown eyes. "It's okay hon, I just gonna change your bandages and give you some more medication I promise that I will make it as painless as possible." I smiled a little for her. My hands were sure and steady as I gently pulled the bandages back to get a look at the underlaying burns. From the assessment on the chart it was second degree which wasn't to bad depending on where and how extensive. I had memorized her chart already and knew the burns covered 35 % of her body on the right side. Once I had the bandages off I applied aloe paste to help sooth the burn a trick I had learned long ago. I looked to see Alicia cringing in pain and biting her lip I bandaged her and took out the morphine I had prepared. "This will help sweet heart" I told her. "Are you hungry or thirsty?" I asked.

"Thirsty" her voice was horse. I poured her a glass and helped her sit up just a little so she could drink. She did greedily.

"Easy hon, you can have more I promise." I told her.

When she was done she handed it back to me and gave me a small smile. "Thank you Carlise" she said in a weak voice.

"Your welcome sweety, if you need anything you just call for me okay?" I asked.

"I will" she laid back in the bed and her eyes fluttered closed as the morphine kicked in.

I went to find Edward who was attending to an infant. "Carlise, I don't think hes going to make it" he whispered so only I could hear him. I looked at his chart, 14 month old with minor burns. But his breathing was very shallow and his heart rate dangerously low.

_Some of them don't but god an infant so much life ahead of him. _

Edward nodded. He placed a hand gently on the baby. "Hang in their little guy" he said softly. The babies eyes opened and looked at Edward.

"Mama" he said tears rolled down his cheek.

Edward looked up at me and I looked at the chart for who his mother was. My heart sank she had died saving her child. The child's father however was one of the doctors.

"Doctor Franks" I called.

"Yes?" the 40 something doctor in charge walked over our way.

"Baby Smith is awake." Edward told him.

"I'll go get his father." Franks said and disappeared.

"Mama" the baby cried.

"What do I do?" Edward looked at me puzzled he had never been around babies before.

I gently picked the baby up making sure to avoid touching the burns and rocked him back and forth gently bouncing him in my arms. He seemed to like this but this kid was admit about having its mama.

"Ah! My little man!" Doctor Smith came running in. "Charles" he held out his arms and I gently placed him in his fathers waiting arms. Edward warned of the burns and Smith nodded and was very gentle. "Shh its okay daddies got you" he soothed. "Thank you guys for watching after him."

"Hes not out of the woods yet, Doctor, you should know that" Edward said gently.

"I know" he nodded and walked around the room pointing things out to the crying 14 month old.

I smiled a little and tended to the rest of my patients.

After 30 hours straight on the burn ward two new doctor came in to relieve us. We really didn't want to go but had to keep up the charade. I went to check on Alicia before I left.

"Hello hon" I smiled.

"Hello Carlise" she said softly.

"Do you need some more pain medicine before I go home for a couple hours?" I asked her.

"Yes, why are you leaving?" she asked confused.

"I have to go get some sleep" I lied.

"Oh" she said simply. I gave her the morphine and told her I would be back as soon as I could.

Edward and I left walking back towards our home. "You keep thinking about her" Edward said softly. "That girl Esme"

"I can't get her out of my head, today is her birthday" I told him.

"I know" Edward gave a reassuring smile as we entered our house. The forest was at the edge of our back yard we would both need to hunt before going back to the hospital. But it would look strange to our neighbors if we just got home and walked out back in to the forest. We would have to 'sleep' a little.

**A few months later**

The less sever of the burn victims had been released including Charles Smith. Alicia, had passed the forth night here. Complications from her burns that led to respiratory distress. I had been there and tried to save her, it hit me hard after that. I threw myself into helping the children in that ward. I was careful I checked on them frequently and only left for 4 hours at a time or I 'slept' at the hospital. I didn't want any other children passing away from the burns. Luckily there were only a few children on the ward. 10 in all in the beginning now months later there were two left. They had major burns that were healing nicely. I was ever watchful making sure they were clean and covered to prevent infection. The other Doctors could be heard cracking jokes about me being a mother hen. But they too went home, with permanent scars but alive after suffering 3rd degree burns over 30-40% of their body which in this time was practically unheard of. Their grateful parents praised me and thanked me over and over.

Edward and I were finally able to find a routine for hunting. Summer was fast approaching and Edward and I had requested night shifts. Though we hated doing it, it felt like we were the vampires that couldn't go out in the sun for fear we would burn alive. But in truth we couldn't go out in the sun for fear of being discovered for being what we truly were. Our glittering skin would be a dead give away. We were careful to pay attention to the times when the sun came up and went down so that we wouldn't be caught. Time seemed to pass by quickly but always that girl from Ohio, Esme Platt, was on my mind.

"Hey Carlise!" Edward said as he came in to the house.

_Hello Edward, how was your night?_ I asked him.

"Okay, I had ER duty" he replied to my unspoken question. "Yours?"

_Okay, Nurse Cromwell has taken a liking to me, she flirts a little to much if you know what I mean. _

"She is a sweet women, asks about you a lot" he laughed. His face got serious as he picked up on my thoughts of Esme. "Carlise you are going to drive your self mad. You left because you didn't want to interfere in her natural life."

_I know_

"Why do you torture yourself Carlise, if you care about her that much then perhaps you should check in on her make sure everything is alright" Edward said softly.

_Perhaps you are right, quick trip down to Columbus and back no problem I know where she lives. _

"I will cover at the hospital for you, go now before the sun comes up." he said.

I nodded and ran out to my car. I took off down the road as fast as I could. Running would have been faster but there was no way to insure I could stay hidden. The drive down took longer then I had anticipated and by the time I pulled on to her street day had come mercifully it was cloudy. I drove down past her house. Cars were parked outside a ton of cars. I could see people dressed in black clothing. My heart jumped, had she died, I didn't smell her sent. Where was she? I climbed out of my car and headed for the door. I had after all been a member of the community and my clothing was approriate for a funeral.

"Doctor Cullen?" came a familiar voice. Esme's father, "What are you doing back in town?" A firend sent a letter requesting some help I came to see how Esme's leg had healed up.

"Esme is dead" he snarled I could smell the liquor on his breath. "So is her whore mother."

"I'm so sorry for your loss" I said and excused myself I found the doctor I had left in charge of taking care of Esme.

"Doctor Cullen!" he said surprised.

"Doctor Richards, how did they die?" my voice was demanding.

"Well Esme, we don't know for sure shes dead, but no one has seen or heard from her. Her mother went missing shortly after that. Her body was found down by the stream badly beaten. Everyone think he did it sheriff is trying to build a case. They think Esme was killed too and he just hid her body better" Richards told me solemnly.

I wished I could cry I wished it were possible to let my emotions show like that. Thoughts raced through my head I should have stayed I should have changed her. Now she was dead and it was too late. Rage built up inside me, I excused myself and walked to my car. I knew that if I didn't get out of there I would kill him and expose what I really was. I had never felt like this. I didn't condone violence why did that girl's death drive me in to such a rage. I started the car and drove back to Bangor I had to get away and fast.

_Okay so I know I am making Esme's father out to be a bad guy but I figured is Esme marries an abusive man and the saying goes women marry their fathers.. Then it just seem to fit.. Anyway love it hate it please review and thank you to my reader __twilightnaley19_ _for your reviews more coming your way!_


	6. New Life

Chapter 5

New Life

EPOV

The day I arrived in Wisconsin is the day my new life began. My aunt had been expecting me and was there when I arrived. She smiled and put her arm around me as I climbed off the bus. "Esme darling, its been so long since I have seen you" she said taking my suitcase.

"Hey Aunt Claire" I said sullenly.

"Hey I know you miss your parent's but this is for the best sweety, come on we better get you home and settled in." Claire pulled me along to her car. My uncle was in the drivers seat waiting for us.

"Esme good to see you" My uncle smiled brightly, "Glad you decided to come live with us."

"Thanks, I'm glad too" I tried to sound sincere but I think he knew better.

We rode in silence, I kept looking out the window taking in my surroundings.

It was a 15 minute drive, they lived on the other side of Madison in the out skirts of town. Madison wasn't very big but as the capital city of Wisconsin it was the largest in the state. We pulled up the drive way to a nice town home. It was unlike anything I had lived in before with two floors, three bedrooms, 3 bathrooms and a sprawling yard. The car came to a stop in front of the large porch my cousin was waiting on the swing that hung to the left side. She was a year younger then me and by any standers very beautiful; her and I had always been good friends when we were younger and I had missed her dearly.

"Esme!" she screeched as I climbed out of the car. She ran down the stairs and threw her arms around me and hugged me tightly.

"Elaina" I grinned and hugged her back.

"Oh my we are going to have so much fun living together, I am so glad your mother convinced you to come. We can do make up and each others hair oh and talk about boys!" she prattled on.

"Elaina, give her some room she just got here" my aunt scolded.

"Sorry momma I am just so excited." she beamed and let me go. "Come on Es, I will show you your new room. Momma let me decorate it for you." Elaina took my hand and pulled me along. She led me up the grand staircase and down the hall to the farthest room. "ready?" she asked with her hand on the door.

"Yeah" I said bracing myself for what was to come she never did have a flair for this sort of thing.

She opened the door and pulled me in beaming proudly at what she had done.

My jaw hit the floor as I looked around, everything was so peaceful in my large room. The walls were painted a light sky blue and a pale purple for the trim. My bed was a large king size with purples and blues on the bed cover. There was a vanity against the far wall and a closet door that was open. I made my way over cautiously to see inside. There were the most beautiful cloths I had ever seen, nothing like what I had worn on the farm.

"Well?" Elaina asked behind me, "What do you think?"

"This is amazing" I said in wonderment. "Thank you so much, I love it!" I spun around and hugged her tightly.

"Your welcome!"

It didn't take me more then a few days to get settled into the routine of the house hold. My uncle was a very well known lawyer who made very large sums of money. My aunt made clothing, blankets, and sweets and sold them out of the house. I was never asked to do chores and told that the maids would see to it that everything was clean. I found that I didn't like being waited on hand a foot. I was allowed to explore the home and the grounds and left to do what I wanted. I had discovered the large library of books that my uncle had. He gladly told me I was welcome to read them. Elaina did all that she could to get me to come with her to meet her friends and socialize but I really wasn't in the mood, I was home sick.

The days passed into weeks and weeks in to months, I was pretty much left alone except for meals. On my 17th birthday however Elaina had made plans for me to have a party. She invited all of her friends and spent the day doing my hair and make up she had even picked out my dress. It was pale blue floor length dress. It was loose fitting and complimented my skin tone and green eyes.

As evening came and the guests started to arrive, Elaina helped me play hostess which I was very grateful for since I knew nothing of her upper class society.

"Oh Esme don't look now but Charles Evenson is looking at you!" Elaina giggled.

"Who's Charles Evenson ?" I whispered.

"His father is the chief surgeon at the hospital." Elaina told me.

I discretely looked over to see who she was talking about. He was tall with blond hair and the most stunning blue eyes. He almost reminded me of... Carlise. I hadn't thought about him in awhile. I had kept myself busy so that I wouldn't be reminded of him. I suddenly wondered what he was doing and where he was.

"Oh, Esme hes coming over here to talk to you" Elaina gave me a little shove in his direction. I quickly put Carlise out of my thoughts and conjured up the sweetest smile I could.

"Hello, you must be the lady of the hour, I'm Charles Evenson"

"Esme, Esme Platt" I extended my hand. He took it and kissed it gently.

"A pleaser to meet you Miss Platt." his voice was smooth and deep and his eyes called to me.

"The pleaser is all mine Mr. Evenson"

"Please call me Charles." he grinned, his smile was alluring.

"You can call me Esme" I told him thoroughly entranced by his eyes. After that we sat and talked for what seemed like hours. In between presents, cake, and socializing with my other guests. As people started to leave it left me with more time to talk to Charles.

The next day Charles came over to see me. We walked out in to the garden to sit at the bench next to the roses.

"Your very beautiful Esme" Charles said softly.

"Thank you" I blushed.

"I want to take you out, to dinner or something like that"

"You mean like a date?" I asked shocked.

"Yes, don't sound so surprised. Why wouldn't I want to take you out and show you off to the world."

"I just.. don't you think we are moving a little to fast you just met me last night."

"I'm sorry if it seems like I am trying to rush this, its just when I met you I couldn't take my eyes off you, your the most beautiful women, with such a strong passionate heart. I just don't want to lose you is all." he explained.

I didn't know what to say, no one had ever spoken to me like that. It left me in a state of awe. After all I was no one special. I was Esme Platt daughter of a farmer and he was Charles Evenson son of a well known and respected Surgeon.

"Do you believe in love at first sight?" he asked.

"Yes" I whispered.

"I do to, and thats what happened when I first saw you, I fell in love."

God he was handsome, romantic, and sweet how did I end up so lucky as to have him telling me he loved me. I didn't know what to say I was speechless.

"What are you thinking?" he asked me worry crossed his face. "Have I said something that offended you?"

"No no I was just thinking how lucky I am that you found me" I smiled.

The days seemed to pass by so much faster now, Charles came by every day and left me with no time to be home sick. He took me to dinners and we walked in the city park. He was so amazing I didn't even think about my angel. Charles slowed things down, he said he didn't want to push me into anything I was uncomfortable with. But by my 20th birthday I was ready to settle down and I knew Charles was too.

3 months after my 20th birthday Charles and I were married. Our wedding was extravagant, with over 100 people there mostly his family. I had tried to get a hold of my mother but my Aunt told me she hadn't heard from her in a long time. This made me worry but Charles assured me that we would go visit after the wedding. My dress was white lace with a long flowing train the sleeves were off the shoulder and it hugged my ever curve. Lilacs and roses covered the arch where Charles stood waiting for me in a black tux. Elaina went down the aisle before me, I had of course asked her to be my made of honor. When she reached the end my uncle leaned in close and whispered.

"Our turn"

I had asked him to give me a way since my father could not. He had been over joyed at the prospect. We slowly made our way down the aisle there were whispers of how beautiful I looked and how lucky I was. I tried not to concentrate on the voices and more on my steps. We reached my future husband and my uncle placed my hand in his. The ceremony went off with out a hitch, we exchanged our vows and rings. Said our I dos and were pronounced husband and wife. I turned to my now husband and he lifted my Vail. His lips were soft and tender against mine. He pulled away and we turned to the guests and walked down the aisle hand in hand.


	7. News

_This will be my first chapter with my beta, as suggested in one of the reviews, I am sorry if I didn't respond, things have been very stressful, my 13 month old son is sick right now so that's why it has taken me so long to update. I am also working on two stories at once so please dare with me. Thank you all for your reviews it makes me happy to see that so many are enjoying my writing. I hope to get on and update as soon as I can. For anyone who hasn't read my other story you should! It's called A Kink in the Happily Ever After... I am dedicating this chapter to my Beta Nixxii Cullen thank you so much!_

_I again applogize I know this is a short chapter the next one is going to be pretty long! Okay enough of my ramblings enjoy!_

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Twilight or any of it's characters though I so wish I owned Carlise cause he is so yummy.... **

Chapter 6

News

CPOV

Edward and I had stayed in Maine for a few years until Edward started to pick up on thoughts questioning why he didn't look like he was getting older. We decided to head out west towards the great lakes and take our chances out there. It had been years since I had taken care of Esme, but every year I still remembered her birthday.

A few months after Esme's 20th birthday we arrived in Madison, Wisconsin. I had taken up a position underneath one of the most well known surgeon's in the great lakes region, Doctor Henry Evenson.

It had been a long day at the hospital and I wanted to just unwind and go hunt but when I walked in the door Edward held up the paper.

"You should read this" he said, it wasn't a suggestion by the sound of his voice. I sighed and took the paper from him. I scanned over the front page and a name caught my eye.

"Esme Platt, niece of well known lawyer Arthur Jessmin, and Charles Evenson, son of well known surgeon Doctor Henry Evenson, sealed their love in the bonds of holy matrimony at 3pm yesterday." I read aloud. My eyes darted to the picture, sure enough the face that I saw when I closed my eyes was smiling back at me. "She's alive" I whispered happily.

"Yeah, but now she's married." Edward said softly.

He had to ruin my moment of happiness with his reminder. "I know" I sighed and sat down a crossed the table from him. "At least she's alive and happy and not buried some where by her horrible father."

"True"

"I need to go hunt, are you coming with me?" I asked him.

"Yeah" he replied.

This time I had managed to find a house on the out skirts of town. We had more privacy then we had in Maine. We walked silently to the edge of the forest and then took off at a run. It didn't take us long to hunt down enough deer for us to drink and we returned within two hours of leaving. All the while Esme filled my thoughts, my relief that she was alive, my disappointment that she could no longer be mine. I must have been driving Edward crazy because he told me he was going out for awhile but before he left he turned to me and said gently.

"Perhaps you should see for yourself how happy she is with this man, maybe it will make it final for you."

"Perhaps your right." I sighed as I watched him leave. I sat back on the sofa with the paper in my hands staring at the photo of the women who had haunted my thoughts for so many years. She was older now that much was apparent, in the years since I had seen her she had grown the most luscious curves. Her hair was longer and looked so elegant the way it was done for her wedding. I could see the laugh lines on her heart shaped face and it made me smile. She was more beautiful now then at 16 in that hospital. My still heart ached for me to see her and I could not deny it any longer.

I threw the paper on the table and paced talking out loud to myself all the while.

"If I go there and she's happy, I will be happy. That's all that matters her happiness." I stopped for a moment and made up my mind. I had to see her, to make sure that she was happy, if she wasn't I didn't know what I would do.

Finding her house wasn't too hard, in fact it was easier then I had imagined she only lived a mile away. I took the forest so that I wouldn't be seen, I didn't want her to know I was here. Thankfully her yard provided many places to hide. I crept up to the window of the house and peered in. She sat with her husband holding his hand a serious look on her face. I listened closely to hear what they were talking about.

"Charles, I want a baby" she said timidly.

"Oh, I don't know Esme, a baby is a lot of work. I have just been accepted to Harvard like my father was and we will be moving soon, I don't know if it's such a good idea." Charles replied.

"I see" she looked so distraught, I wanted so badly to comfort her.

She looked up suddenly, and stared right at where I was hiding, I froze afraid that if I moved she would see me and think I was stalking her.

"What is it?" I heard Charles ask.

"Nothing, it must have been a rabbit or something" she lied effortlessly. He seemed to buy it and dropped his hand from hers.

"I am going out with friends tonight, make sure dinner is ready for me when I get home darling." he said and left the room.

I looked at Esme, she had her face in her hands. Her body shook every time she took a breath. She was crying and that really bothered me for she wasn't happy at all. She wanted a baby, something I could never give her, she could never have children as a vampire. I stole away back in to the woods when I hit cover I took off running as fast as I could, I had no idea where I was going all I knew is that I needed to run to be as far away from Esme as I possibly could go. I feared if I didn't I would slip up, become to selfish and do the unthinkable to such a loving women.


	8. Men Suck

_Okay so here is the next chapter I would like to thank you all so much for your reviews thank you twlight_grey's_obsessed for all you comments. Again thanks to my beta for helping me out. _

_Also as I noticed in one of the reviews people were wondering why Edward was a doctor in Maine, well if you think about it both Edward has been around long enough to have gone to Medical school and become a doctor just like his 'father' Carlise. It was just a random idea I had to get Edward more involved in the story since he is Carlise's only companion. Edward will be playing a much bigger part in this story in a later chapter and I want to develop his relationship with Carlise a little better. _

_795 hits on this story since I started writing it wow!_

_Thank you all for liking my story, reviewing, and giving me such great advice! Enough of my ramblings now! Here's the next chapter, I know I promised a longer one and this one is still kinda short but I have been so busy lately. _

**Sadly I own nothing Twilight, just the characters I create, though I wish I owned Carlise hehe** _**Rated T here for some Domestic Violence not for young eyes..**_

Chapter 7

Men suck

EPOV

Two days after our wedding, things changed. Charles became bossy, moody he would scream if I even looked at him wrong. All that I could deal with, but it didn't end there. Our third night of being married I crawled in to bed after a stroll through the garden to clear my head. I thought Charles was asleep but I was wrong.

"Where were you?" he demanded.

"In the garden" I said truthfully.

"Who were you with?" he growled rolling to face me.

"No one, I was alone" I tried to keep my voice steady and calm but he was scaring me. His hand reached out and grabbed my chin his grip was so tight it hurt my jaw.

"Do not lie to me Esme I heard you talking to someone!"

"I was singing"

He let go of my face and sat up his eyes never leaving mine.

"I am going to ask you one more time who were you with!"

"No one I swear!" I coward back in to the pillow and for good reason, he drew back and punched me in the stomach. I felt my breath leave me and I doubled over anticipating another blow but it didn't come. I looked up to see him glaring down at me.

"You better hope I don't find out your lying to me Esme, or it will be the last thing you ever do"

He rolled over and fell asleep quickly like nothing had ever happened. Had it happened, was I dreaming? It sure didn't feel like a dream, Carlisle was usually in my dreams. So where was he why wasn't he here taking care of me? I sighed, god was I going crazy, not even married a week and I am was fantasizing about another man. Carlisle wasn't just another man and I knew it, he had those kind warm eyes and that amazing smile. Life would have been so much easier if he hadn't left, if he had the same feelings for me that I had for him. I lay down but I couldn't sleep fear that I wouldn't wake up again if I closed my eyes boiled inside of me. Time ticked by slowly when the sun started to peak over the horizon I rose exhausted and dragged myself in to the bathroom. It took quiet a bit of make up to hide the bags under my eyes I brushed through my tangled hair and pulled it back in to a simple pony tail before I turned off the light and made my way to the kitchen to make breakfast for Charles.

I flicked on the kitchen light and started pulling out the ingredients I would need for eggs, bacon, and pancakes. I mixed together the batter and poured it on to the hot griddle while it cooked I began making the bacon and sunny side up eggs. 15 minutes later I heard Charles come into the kitchen.

"Smells good" he said in a cheerful voice, like nothing had happened last night. I decided not to say anything about it.

"It will be ready in just a few moments" I told him and pulled out glasses and plates. I set the table quickly and poured out fresh orange juice for him and I. I could feel his eyes on me as I piled the food on to plates and walked back to the table to set it in front of him. I hurried off to grab silverware as well.

"Anything else you would like while I am up?" I asked him.

"No, thank you" he said politely.

God, maybe I had imagined him hitting me last night. It sure didn't feel like it, my stomach still ached from where he punched me. Surly though he wouldn't be this polite about everything. I sat a crossed the table from him and we ate in silence.

"Where's my paper?" He demanded suddenly.

"Sorry?" I said softly and rose to get it.

"Never mind" he growled and got to his feet. "This is what I get for marrying a lazy poor bitch" he spat and walked out of the room.

I sat stunned afraid to think, I listened as he slammed the door on his way out to get the paper and on his way back in. He was still muttering under his breath saying nasty things about me.

"What are you doing just sitting there?" he demanded and grabbed my arm roughly. "Get your lazy ass up and do the dishes" he roared his grip was tight on my arm he whipped me around to face him and his eyes stared directly into mine. "I married you as a favour, you will do as I tell you do you understand!" he yelled spit hitting my face. I nodded unable to trust my voice. He whirled me around and gave me a hard shove. I wasn't expecting it and my side slammed in to the counter hard and fell to the floor. "Get up!" he snarled. I didn't want to move; it hurt so bad, tears streamed down my face. "I said get up you lazy good for nothing bitch. I felt his arms wrap around me and he yanked me to my feet he slapped me hard a crossed the face.

"Stop it!" I cried, "Your hurting me"

"Good" he snickered. "This will fell like nothing compared to what I will do to you if this entire house isn't cleaned by the time I get home." He let go of me and grabbed his coat off the rack before he walked out the door slamming it behind him.

I sank to the ground the tears flowing harder now, what had I gotten myself in to. A knock at the door startled me. I got to my feet and whipped away the tears. I checked my face in the front hall mirror before I put on the best fake smile I could and answered the door.

My Aunt had come to see me with Elaina.

"Esme!" My aunt grinned.

"Aunt Claire, Elaina, please come in" I said stepping aside to let them pass. They hurried off into the kitchen I shut the door and followed them.

"Esme dear let me look at you" Claire said holding her arms out to me. "Oh dear, what happened?" she asked concerned.

"Charles hit me" I told her fighting back the tears.

"Oh honey what did you do to make him that angry?" she asked me.

"Nothing, I just forgot to get his paper this morning, and I didn't clean up breakfast fast enough. Aunt Claire I don't think I can do this." I sobbed.

"You have to Esme, remember he is the man of this house, he has a lot on his shoulders, its your job as his wife to make sure that everything is taken care of. You have to make sure is house is his haven, his castle. If he hit you that means you weren't making him happy enough. My dear girl, you have to be a good wife and he wont be angry like this and hit you. Why do you think your uncle and I have such a good relationship. I cater to his every need, I know you didn't exactly have a great model for that in my dear sister, but I will help you its what I am here for." she smiled brightly at me.

That didn't sit right with me, her words, they tore at my insides, I didn't want to be like that, I wanted to be an equal with my husband. I wanted to be loved and respected, not treated like a slave. I wanted a family and a husband who loved me regardless of what I did or didn't do.

"Yes ma'am" I said resigned to the fact that I would never have that now.

"We'll leave you to your work dear, tell Charles Arthur would love for him and you to attend our annual ball that we hold for all the high society members." she smiled and Elaina looked at me with sad eyes, she felt sorry for me I could see it. "Come along Elaina, Esme has a lot to do today" she smiled and with those words they were gone. I stood there in the middle of the kitchen watching were my aunt had just been. I tried to pull myself together and walked over to the broom closet, I pulled out a bucket, mop, a couple of rags, and the soap to wash everything.

I spent all day cleaning and by the time 2pm rolled around I was exhausted. I put everything a way and walked in to the kitchen to make the roast for that evenings dinner. It needed time to cook so that it would be ready when Charles got home, god knows I didn't want to know what would happen if everything wasn't exactly as he wanted it. As I cut up the vegetables, I couldn't help but feel like I was being watched like when I had talked to Charles about a baby. I looked out into the garden but didn't see anything. Odd I thought to myself and finished putting everything together then put it in the oven. I washed the dishes I used to make it and walked up stairs to freshen up, what I wouldn't give for a nap right now though. The hours rolled by and I was pulling the roast out when Charles walked though the door.

"Esme?" he called.

"In the kitchen" I called back setting the roast on the table with the mashed potatoes, gravy, and rolls I had prepared.

"mmm smells good" Charles smiled walking into the kitchen. He looked over the kitchen quickly satisfied I had cleaned as he asked. He sat down at the table and I sat a crossed from him. "Wonderful job Esme" he said taking a bite.

**Two years later 1917**

Charles stood in his army uniform adjusting his tie in the full length mirror. I tried not to show the happiness that I felt at the fact that he would be leaving and possibly never coming home. Over the past two years he had beat me so many times I felt revealed that he was leaving.

"Alright Esme, remember, while I am gone you must still carry on." he ordered. "That means chores done and what not, no getting lazy now that I wont be here, I just broke you out of that." he said sternly.

"Oh course Charles, I will." I told him.

He left an hour later when the door closed behind him and his car pulled out of the drive I wanted to jump for joy. For now, I was free.


	9. 1919

Chapter 8

1919

Esme POV

Anxiety, it was all I could feel. I knew he would be home soon. I had spent the past two years alone, content with my life without him. Now word had come he would be home tonight December 27th.

I had spent the day cleaning the entire house, I made his favorite dinner of Turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy with fresh from the garden green beans. The table was set everything together, I had thrown on my best dress and waited by the door for the car to pull in. Headlights, was this him? It was, the car pulled into the driveway and he stepped out still in his dress uniform. I ran to the door and threw it open.

"Charles!" I said throwing as much emotion as I could into my voice. "Oh god I have missed you" I lied, it was so easy to lie to him.

"Esme" he said and embraced me holding my tightly. "You look beautiful" he said stepping back to look at me.

"Come in, I made your favorite dinner" I told him.

"Thanks I'm starved" he said and led the way back into the house.

So far so good I thought to myself as we sat down to eat. Charles didn't say a word as he ate I sat in respective silence unsure of what was to come. When we finished dinner I cleaned up and did the dishes. Charles went up stairs and took a shower.

When I walked in to the bedroom he was laying with a book in his hand. Perhaps the war had changed him for the better.

"Esme" he smiled and patted the bed next to him. I pulled the covers back and slid under them. Charles leaned towards me and crushed his lips against mine. His tongue parted my lips his need evident. I held back at first, I wasn't sure of what he was doing. He moved on top of me kissing me more he tore my night gown in half and his hands moved over my skin. It sent a shiver down my spine but I gave in. I kissed him back my hands moved over his bare chest. I surrendered to his touch and fell in to oblivion.

The morning came, I felt Charles underneath me his eyes were open but he was not smiling. He looked indifferent. I moved away from him.

"Thought you were never going to wake up" he mumbled and swung his feet over the edge of the bed.

I scampered into the bathroom, it took me 15 minutes to get dressed, brush my snarled hair out, and apply the light amount of make up I wore. I scurried down the stairs to make breakfast. Charles came down the stairs as I set the bacon, biscuits and gravy, and ham on the table.

"Hello love" I said handing him his paper as he sat down. He took it without acknowledging me. I took my seat and we ate in silence. It was unnerving how he never spoke a word. I would glance up every few minutes to see if he was still there.

He stood up and left the room his meal barely touched. I finished quickly and did the dishes as I put them away an arm caught my waist and pulled me back. I gasped in surprise and dropped the cup in my hand it landed on the counter and thankfully didn't break.

"I want you" Charles snarled in my ear. "Now" he whipped me around and pushed me against the counter. His mouth was rough on mine.

"Charles please" I said trying to push him away. "No"

"No?" he roared. "No! How dare you tell me no" he swung and hit me hard a crossed the face. "I am your husband you will do as I say, as I want do you understand me" he thundered on.

"Yes" I whimpered.

He wasn't done with me. I would pay for my mistake. He whipped me around and shoved me into the counter my stomach hit full force and I sank to the ground. A well placed kick hit me in the back. I curled my body in to the fetal position he used his foot to turn my body and kicked me again this time in the stomach. I tried to block his kick and he reached down and gather a handful of my hair in to his hand and yanked my head up. Pain shot through my scalp as he pulled my head back and stared into my eyes. The expression on his face was terrifying.

"Are you ever going to tell me no again?" he spat.

"No" I said, again that was a mistake. He kicked me in the stomach knocking the wind out of me.

"I said are you ever going to tell me no again" he growled through his teeth.

"I wont I swear, what ever you want" tears streamed down my face. He let me go with a shove and my face hit the floor. I clenched my eyes closed prepared for the next barge but it didn't come. I heard his foot steps as he left the room and went up the stairs.

The next morning my body screamed in protest as I got out of bed. I walked into the bathroom and started my shower. I undressed carefully and looked down at my body. Bruises covered my stomach and back. I winced as I stepped into the shower and the hot water hit my body. It hurt to move but I wouldn't show it.

Breakfast went quietly, Charles left without eating much, he had gotten his job back at the hospital. I was grateful as I watched his car pull away. I set about doing house work as I always did.

The days dragged by, but I was careful now. I tried to avoid doing or saying anything that would anger him but he always found a reason to hit me.

Six weeks after he came home I noted that my menstrual cycle had not come. That was unusual since it was always right on time. I woke up one morning and had to run into the bathroom. I made it just in time to the toilet and puked. My mind raced, could it be? Was I pregnant? At breakfast I told Charles I needed to go shopping that day. He grunted his approval and left for work. I left the house shortly after and headed for a clinic that I knew little about, but it wasn't the hospital and I wouldn't risk running in to Charles.

The waiting room was stark, bare except for a few chairs. I waited quietly until I was called by the nurse. She took my family history down or what I knew of it, took my weight down and handed me a gown before she left. I undressed and put it on then sat back down nervous.

"Well hello Mrs. Evenson, I am Doctor Frost. What seems to be the problem today?" he asked with a smile.

"I think I am pregnate" I told him.

"Alright, well lets find out shall we." he said softly.

It took only minutes for him to do his tests I got dressed and waited for him to return.

"Well Mrs. Evenson" he began when he finally walked back in. "You are indeed pregnate, we can set up your next appointment for your prenatal care, I am also going to give you some infomration on foods you need to be eatting and things like that"

"Thank you Doctor" I said my voice catching in my throat. Fear for my unborn child and what Charles might do to me if he found out I was pregante. I was resovled to not bring a child into that. Where would I go?

I left after that and did my shopping like I had told Charles I would. When I got home I put the grocries away and phoned Elaina. My aunt told me that Elaina had left and gone to live in Milwaukee with one of my second cousins.

I knew now where I would go I asked for her address telling my aunt I wanted to write her a letter. She gave it to me and told me to have a good evening.

I made dinner quickly when Charles arrived home he was in a foul mood. I was extra careful tonight, I didn't think my baby would survive if I recived a beating. The night went off without a hitch and Charles went to bed right after dinner. I breathed a sigh of reilef as I crawled into bed.

I didn't sleep much that night, I lay awake thinking of how I could pull this off. Charles didn't like putting his money in the bank he always kept it stashed here in the house. It was a couple grand at the least. I could take that and I would have no problem starting over. I kept mulling things over until I fell asleep.

I awoke the next morning and followed my same routine. Charles didn't need to know I would be leaveing him today. I watched the car pull away and waited until I was sure he was gone for the day before I ran up the stairs and packed my things. I pulled out the stacks of money and placed them in my bag. After all was said and done I carried it down the stairs to the car.

I drove and drove until I was outside of the city limits it wasn't to far to the next city I would dump the car and get on a train to Milwaukee. My nerves were frayed, I kept expecting to see him in my rear view mirror. I bought the train ticket under my mothers maiden name it wasn't a long train ride but it was long enough to give me time to think. Thinking was not what I wanted to be doing right now.

When the train pulled up to the Milwakee station I caught a cad to Elaina's house. The house was small nothing like the Mantion of her parents. I knocked on the door and Elaina awnsered. She was pregante that I could tell. Not very far along.

"Esme?" she asked. I gave her a nod. "Oh Esme what are you doing here!" she demanded

"I left Charles." I told her.

"Why? He will kill you!" she said fear in her voice. "Get in here" she said and pulled me inside. I dropped my bags by the door and looked around.

"I'm pregnate Elaina"

Her face fell. "Oh, honey" she said and embraced me in a hug. "me too"

"How? Your not married."

"I know, I don't even know who the father is, I got drunk one night and then damn couple weeks later I found out I am knocked up. I told my parents and they flipped they sent me away they didn't want that 'digrace' of a unwed daughter who was pregante. So here I am, How did you find me?"

"You mother, I can't stay Elaina, your mother will know I have come here"

"I know, oh Esme I have missed you." She hugged me again. "But where are you going to stay how are you going to afford anything?" she asked me

"I stole his money he doesn't trust bank and kept it all in the house so I took it." I explained and un zipped my bag. "I didn't count it so I don't know how much is there."

"Well lets count it we don't have long we will have to get you a train ticket some where else." she said we sat down on her sofa and counted the money over seven thousand dollars. It was probably his entire lifes savings. "I know where you can go, up to Ashland, you could blend right in with the war widows that live up there." she grinned.

"Great idea" I told her.

I was going to Ashland, I would be safe, my baby would be safe. My thoughts slipped back to that day when I was 16 years old. Doctor Cullen's face filled my thoughts. I would be safe, if I had him.


	10. Moving on

_Okay all here is the next chapter, having a hard time writting from Carlise perspective so sorry his chapters are shorter then Esme's. I do want to write from both perspectives cause I think it is important. Thank each and everyone of you for your reviews it means a lot to me. I am so happy you are enjoying my stories. _

_A special thanks to twilight-grey's-obsessed, twilightnaley19, and vampiresstory who have reviwed a few times. _

_Also a special thanks to my beta who is awsome even with both of our busy scheduals she trys to get the next chapter back to me as soon as possiable. Thanks for dealing with my spelling issues too!!_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or Carlise or Esme but I wish I did because they are such great characters and I love writting about them**_

Chapter 9

CPOV

Moving on

"Carlisle!" Edward came running into the house a little faster then human pace. For days we had been discussing moving again, it was nearly time.

"What is it?" I asked. He threw the paper down onto the table. I caught a glimpse of the headline.

''Charles Evenson's wife missing two days'' I read allowed.

"Mrs. Esme Evenson devoted wife of Charles Evenson was reported missing by her husband when he awoke and Esme was no where to be found. Authorities suspect foul play. Recently a Doctor at a clinic in town has come forward and revealed that Mrs. Evenson was pregnant." Edward recited from memory.

"It doesn't matter" I lied.

"Yes it does, come on Carlisle I can read your mind you can't hide anything from me. You still want her."

"It doesn't matter Edward, even if I could find her she's pregnant. What could I do? I'm a vampire for crying out load! I may have impeccable self control but living with a human, not being able to tell her what I am. I don't think it would be wise"

"Fine, if you want to be miserable that's up to you, you know I care about you Carlisle and I just want to see you happy. I know I am like a son to you but that's not enough. Esme could be that love for you, so what she's pregnant did you ever think she might want you too?" he asked.

I had never heard Edward like this, he was being pushy. This was far from usual; was I really making him that miserable with my thoughts. _I'm sorry, but I can't do it._

He shrugged and walked into the next room. I heard the sweet melody of his piano as he settled in for the night. I sighed and picked up my book leaning back in the chair. I started to read but couldn't get past the first line, I kept reading it over and over before I gave up and picked the newspaper up again. She couldn't possibly want me, I was just her doctor years ago. Nothing special, yet she meant everything to me. My dormant heart ached to be near her, to hold her, comfort her. I was going to drive myself crazy thinking like this hell I am going to drive poor Edward crazy thinking like this.

I threw my book down in frustration and in a matter of seconds I was out the door. I didn't know where I was going. Maybe to her house, to see if it was really true, or if that husband of hers had done something to her. I would kill him if he had. I knew I should hunt before I went, to give me time to calm down. Where was my compassion? Hadn't the man lost a wife.

_Maybe she left him _a voice in the back of my head said. _Yeah or maybe he killed her. _

I swooped down like the graceful predator I was and sunk my teeth into the giant buck its neck snapped under the force. I hated to see them suffer, even if it were an animal it still bothered me. I drank quickly and then sprinted off for the home that Esme had shared with her husband.

Just like all those years before I crept up in the garden to get a good look. What caught my eye made we want to gag. His wife wasn't even missing that long. She could have been kidnapped or dead and her 'husband' was in bed with another women. I watched more closely as I saw more movement, make that two women. I growled and fought down my urge to kill him. I may be compassionate but I was a vampire and I still had the urge to kill. My anger was intense never had I felt it that strong. This whole situation was awakening emotions I had never imagined. Anger and hate the two emotions I avoided carefully they made you unpredictable and as a vampire I couldn't afford that. I hung my head and ran back to my home, at least, it was my home for another 2 days. There was nothing left for me here it was time to move on.

It didn't take Edward and I long to pack up, I put in my notice at the hospital, I told them I had received a better offer and I had accepted. The car was packed the night before our move to keep up pretences we decided to leave in the morning. I lay on the sofa with my book on my chest but I couldn't read my eyes were closed and I wished I could sleep.

"Carlisle?" Edwards soft voice whispered. "Sorry to disturb you.."

"Nonsense Edward, what can I do for you?" I asked opening my eyes and sitting up.

"I was going to go hunt before we left, would you like to come with me?" he asked.

"Sure" I gave him a small smile. It was hard for anyone to tell how bad he was hurting. Edward was very good at hiding his true emotions. His parents had both died in the Spanish influenza epidemic. He would have too had I not transformed him into a vampire. I wouldn't have but I was starved for companionship and his mother had made it very clear that I was to do everything in my power to save him. It was either die or become like me, I was selfish and chose for him. Now he would live for eternity damned to walk the earth to never sleep, never eat, and never age forever frozen at 17.

We walked into the tree line and took off at a dead run. Edward was much faster then me but he kept his pace with mine I knew it frustrated him sometimes when he couldn't go full out. I heard him laugh beside me. Sometimes it sucked having a mind reader around. I wind shifted and I caught the scent on herd of deer up ahead. I changed course coming from the side of them I heard Edward change course to come in from the other side. I ran full tilt and lept from the trees on to a rather large buck. I dank my teeth in and the warm blood flowed dulling the ache at the back of my throat slightly. As the buck ran dry I looked up to see Edward.

Still fairly new to hunting I had to laugh every time I looked up to see blood on his shirt. It had taken me many years of practice to be this clean.

He growled at me playfully.

"What?" I grinned. "If you don't like my thoughts don't listen" I joked.

"Sure Carlisle I will get right on that" he retorted.

We chased down the deer, deciding on one more to make sure that when we arrived in the new town we would be okay for a few days.

With full stomachs we ran back for the house as the sun came up we snuck into the back and prepared for the day to come.

"Ready?" Edward asked me suspiciously. As if he were unsure as to whether I would really leave or not.

"Yeah, lets go" I sighed. Making sure we weren't discovered to be anything more then human was my top priority, my heart however, my unbeating heart broke at the thought of leaving without knowing what had happened to Esme. I gave one last look to the house we had lived in and we drove off for Ashland, Wisconsin.

**Later that day...**

With the drive behind us we began unloading our moving truck. It really had taken a great deal longer then I would have liked but Edward and I moved at a human pace. We knew appearance was everything.

Once all the boxes were in the house I hung the curtains and then drew them closed from there Edward and I were able to move at vampire speed to get things set up. It took less then an hour before our props were all in order.

"So what are we using for a story this time Carlisle?"

"My older brother died in the war and his wife, grief stricken, killed herself and left their son all alone, you, leaving you to live with your uncle, me." I said thinking of something on the fly.

"Okay that works." Edward shrugged.

"Will you be enrolling in school?" I asked him.

"Yes, I have already forged our paper work, shouldn't be to much a problem. Do you think I look to old to pass for 15?"

"Should be fine, my 15 year old nephew, got it" I smiled.

"Are you going to the hospital this evening?" Edward asked. He looked a little lonely.

"No, I thought we could spend some time together this evening. I have been working to much recently and I apologize. Not much of a companion am I?"

"Carlisle don't say that, you are a great friend and for all intensive purposes my father. I understand this has been hard on you. I just want to make it as easy as I can"

"You are to good to me Edward." I smiled. "I am honoured that you think of me as such; I will do my best to live up to the title of father that you have so graciously bestowed on me"

Edward grinned back and pulled out a game of chess. "Shall we?" he asked.

I night felt short and soon it was time for Edward to start school and for me to go to the hospital I would be working at. Since Ashland was such a small community I would have a rather high up position. The former chief surgeon had retired and I would be taking up his slack. I said good bye to Edward and walked to my car. I looked up at the clouds the weather should be bleak all day which made it safer for Edward and I to be in eye of the public. For if the sun shone on our skin people would know we were different.

The drive to the hospital was a short one. I parked my car and walked towards the front entrance. I checked in with the receptionist who explained where my office was and that the Director of Medicine was expecting me as well. I nodded and turned for the stairs. I caught a faint smell on the breeze a very familiar smell. I looked around cautiously and caught sight of Esme. No it couldn't have been here, in that same second the crowed swallowed her in and I lost sight of her. I shook my head and guessed I was imagining things. Perhaps since I wanted so desperately to see her my mind was fabricating images and smells of her. That's it; it had to be, I knocked at the door to the Director of Medicine and stepped in ready to start the next lie.


	11. My Baby

Chapter 10

My Baby

"My name is Esme, Esme Platt" I said with my hand resting on my stomach the contractions had started and I was trying to breath through them.

"Are you alone?" The nurse asked.

"Yes, yes I am" I said a little saddened by that thought, I pushed it from my head, it was time, I would be a mother soon, this little life depended on me.

A wheel chair was brought to me and I was carted off the the delivery room.

As I lay down and the doctor checked me over i thought about the past months, I had taken up a teaching job. It was nice to work with kids I had always wanted to. It would be hard taking care of the baby and keeping money coming into the house. The few war widow friends I had met had urged me to remarry as they had. I was completely against that. I would find a way to make this work.

I bit through the pain of delivery holding on to the thought that me baby would be in my arms soon.

I heard the first crys of my baby was relieved.

"Ms Platt, you have a baby boy" the doctor told me. It seemed like forever until they placed him in my arms. He was so beautiful, tears streaked down my face.

"Hello baby" I cooed. "I'm your momma, everything is gonna be okay I promise" I told my son.

"Do you have a name for him?" the nurse asked.

"Yeah, David" I told her.

"Very nice, we need to take him to the nursery run some tests you can come see him in a little bit" the nurse said. I didn't want to give him up but I did reluctantly.

I lay in the hospital bed utterly alone, tired, and depressed. I wanted to be with me son.

As the time wore on I was starting to feel worse I started to get out of bed when they brought my son back to me.

"He's hungry dear" the nurse told me.

I smiled and took him from her arms nuzzling him up to my breast so that he could eat. He latched on with no problem. I smiled down at him watching him eat. I saw so much of myself in him, his heart shaped face the color of his hair. He was perfect in every way.

I spent the next few days in the hospital, today though I was dressed my child wrapped up warmly, we were going home.

I opened the door to my home, it was cold inside and I shivered through my coat. I walked into the living room David's bassinet was already there. I set him down and started a fire in the fire place trying to get some heat into the house.

It didn't take long for it to warm up enough that I could remove my jacket and a couple layers of David's blankets. He slept peacefully while I set about making dinner for myself.

That first night was the longest of my life. He woke every two hours to eat, I hardly slept. I knew this was to be expected for the first few months.

The next day I slept every chance I got only getting up to eat feed and change him before falling back to sleep. As night fell I noticed that David was having trouble breathing panicking I raced to the hospital.

I sat in the ER with David in my arms waiting for the Doctor to come back.

"Ms. Platt" the doctor said quietly. "Your son has an infection in his lungs we will need to admit him"

"Is it serious?" I demanded.

"I'm afraid so for someone his age. We will monitor him closely" the doctor assured her.

I was terrified to leave his side. I stayed with him night and day.

Three days after he was admitted, I awoke to a flurry of activity.

"What's going on?" I demanded a nurse hurried forward to usher me out of the room. "What's going on?" I demanded again

"Hes stopped breathing" the nurse said then hurried back into the room. Tears filled my face as I looked on. Each minute ticked by in pure agony. I don't know how long they tried but i remember hearing them pronounce my baby, my David dead. I remember screaming and my heart ripping in two and then nothing.

When I came too I was laying in a hospital bed. "Miss Platt" it was the same nurse as before. "Easy now" she said as I tried to sit up.

"David?" I said not remembering what had happened.

"I'm so sorry honey, he didn't make it. You passed out and hit your head. Is there anyone I can get a hold of for you?" she asked.

"No, there's no one" I sobbed.

"Oh honey, I know it hurts." the nurse said in a motherly tone. "It will get better it will just take time."

It would never get better. I had no husband, my child was dead, I had nothing I was all alone.

I was discharged later that day, it was dark as I made my way home.

I couldn't go back into that empty house. I decided to go for a walk I didn't know where I was walking to or what I was going to do, I had lost everything. Despair and pain welled up filling my broken heart tear streamed down my face as I walked. The cold stung my face and I walked.

I came to the cliffs near my house and stood at the edge. I had nothing left no one to love no one to love me. My life was empty over my baby dead all I wanted was to join him to be with him forever. In that split second I knew what I wanted to do and before I could think twice i threw myself from the cliff to my death.

_Sorry this took way to long to get up I had some major writers block and I wasn't sure how I wanted to do this but here it is_


	12. What I've Done

**Disclaimer: I own nothing that is Twilight I just write the stories about them **

Chapter 11

What I've Done

CPOV

"Carlise!" Edward said running into my office if it were possible he would probably be breathless it looked like he had run the whole way.

"What is it Edward?" I asked getting to my feet.

"They have found someone at the base of the cliffs outside of town. It's a woman, I didn't get a good look at her, Carlise i think its Esme the scent was familiar." Edward said the words spilling out fast for even a vampire.

"It can't be, she wouldn't come here" I shrugged and sat back down.

"Carlise get up, they are taking her directly to the morgue you have to see for sure!" Edward urged.

"Fine, fine" I got up and walked around my desk to come beside Edward. He led me down the hall to the stairs. The morgue was quiet and a body lay covered in a sheet. They had already brought her in and left. I stepped forward tentatively and caught the scent of the blood I turned to tell Edward to go but he already was. I was glad he would not risk temptation I hopped he would go hunting.

I stepped forward and heard the pulse I saw the sheet rise and fall, a human wouldn't have noticed it but I did, she was still alive. I ripped back the covers and my still heart broke. There she lay, older there were worry lines on her face and it looked like she had been crying, but it was Esme, my beautiful sweet Esme. The carefree girl who I treated all those years ago, she was so happy then.

"Oh Esme" I wish I could have cried to bleed. I set to work assessing her injuries, they were right to bring her here. There was nothing that could be done not with how medicine was these days. I couldn't let her die though. I ached for a companion I know I had Edward but I wanted someone that I could love fully a wife, a lover someone to complete me.

"Forgive me Esme" I leaned down and sank my teeth into her soft neck. She body jerked underneath me as the venom entered her blood stream. Her heart just needed to keep beating for a little while longer, long enough to keep the venom flowing. Her blood was delicious on my tongue I fought with myself to stop my being ached to keep drinking but I pulled back. I had to get her out of here to a place where she would be safe while the transformation took place. I picked her up gently careful not to move her to much lest I do more damage. Sneaking out of the hospital was easy I took off into the woods and circled back to Edward and I's home.

"Edward?" I called. There was no answer, he was probably hunting. I set Esme in my bedroom on the bed that was nothing more then a prop I covered her in a blanket and sat beside her.

"Forgive me Esme for what I have done" I begged of her, I needed to clean the blood from her broken body so that when Edward returned it would not drive him insane. I gathered up cleaning supplies and bandages. Carefully I set some of her broken bones washed the blood from her body with a cloth and stopped the bleeding. The venom burned through her veins and I could see more signs of life. I really didn't want to move her but I had to change the sheets. It took me mere seconds and she was resting as comfortably as I could make her. Her breathing was shallow her eyes remained closed. I took every blood soaked thing I could find and started a fire outside. When I was sure I had everything burned I put out the fire and walked back into the house, I knew Esme would need warmth so I set about making a fire for the house. I cleaned every inch of the bedroom with bleach. It was for Esme's sake as well she would be thirsty when she awoke.

Edward returned later in the morning his eyes a butter scotch. I was proud of him for sticking to our diet. He stopped as he caught wiff of the cleaners.

"Carlise, you didn't" he looked me over and knew the truth.

"I had to Edward, she was still alive"

"Carlise have you thought about what this is going to do they are going to know her body is missing!"

"I know, but Edward I love her" I confessed.

"You hardly know her!" he pointed out.

"I thought you were the one that wanted me to be happy to be with her" I looked him over accusingly.

"You should have let her die it is the way of things." Edward sighed.

"So I should have let you die then?" I asked.

"Yes" Edward said looking away from me.

That stung, I knew it was true before he said it. He did not want to be a monster.

"I'm sorry Edward" I couldn't meet his eyes, I turned and returned to Esme's side.

For three days it went on around the second day her bones had been healing quickly her body jerked with the pain. By the third day she was able to scream it tortured me to see her that way. As the third day came to a close her heart stopped. At first panic welled inside of me until her eyes fluttered open.

"Esme" I said getting up and sitting beside her. "Take it easy I know its disorientating" I said placing a hand on her shoulder. Her head whipped around and she looked me over.

"Carlise" her voice was raspy.

"Yes, its me" I smiled, glad that she recognized me.

* * *

EPOV

The pain was unbearable, I let lose another scream. I must be in hell that has to be it I thought. I killed myself and now I have to suffer in hell the constant burning. I didn't know how much time had passed but slowly I started to hear voices angelic voices Carlise's voice. I recognized it but how an angel like him doesn't deserve to be in hell.

It seemed like forever but the pain started to recede into my heart until it felt like it might explode and then it stopped. The room was silent and then I heard it, his voice, his velvet angelic voice said my name. I let my eyes open, it was amazing, unlike anything I had ever seen before.

It was unsettling to see colors of the spectrum that she had never imagined, everything was so sharp. There was a fire in her throat that begged to be quenched but strangely water didn't sound very good to her.

"Carlise" I rasped.

"Yes it's me" he confirmed.

I sat slowly surprised that it was even possible. "What happened?" I asked that last thing I remembered was throwing myself from a cliff. I should be dead, I should be with my baby. My emotions were intense more intense then before I longed for my baby. "I should be dead" I said looking around the movement was quick and quiet disconcerting.

"I know that you have a lot of questions but perhaps we should let you feed first"

"Feed" The fire ripped through my throat and it was all I could think about. I lept to my feet so quick I should have fallen but I didn't how could someone get used to this. I caught whiff of a scent and I was off like a bullet. Carlise came in front of me almost as quick and put his hands on my shoulders to stop me.

"Esme stop" he said forcefully.

Instantly I was on guard I wanted to rip his throat out for getting between me and my prey.

"Esme stop you can't go after that I know you smell the humans but you can't feed on them"

"Feed on humans what have you done to me!" I snarled.

"Esme please let me explain" Carlise tried to reason with me.

"Get away from me!" I pushed him aside.

"Edward!" Carlise shouted behind me as he got to his feet.

A tall man around 17 stood in my path. "Esme please listen" Edward said making no other move to block me. "I do not want to have to restrain you but we will if we must to protect the humans"

I pushed passed him as Carlise came behind me he picked me up in a bear hug I struggled and nearly got free if it hadn't been for Edward's iron grasp around my wrists.

"Newborns" he sighed "Esme you must listen, we will take you hunting in the woods for some deer, but you must not struggle or try to get a way, when you have fed we will explain everything to you please try to calm down." Edward's voice was level and he sounded so sensible, I relaxed.

"You can release her Carlise, she wont run" Edward looked me in the eyes, "Follow me please" he asked.

I followed closely behind him Carlise behind me, we left their house and ran into the woods. The sounds in the woods were amazing things I had never heard before. Edward taught me how to hunt and Carlise stayed close by probably worried I would try to run away, but the thirst was all I could think about once I started. After my 4th deer Edward asked me if i was finished. I was for the moment but the fire in my throat burned for more.

"I know it's hard the fire, I had trouble with it for a long time, but you learn to manage it. My name is Edward Cullen, you know Carlise already." He introduced himself.

"What am I?" I asked fearful of the answer.

"You're a vampire" Carlise spoke up, "Same as Edward and I."

"How?"

"When you fell from the cliff, your body was brought into the hospital, they thought you were dead and took you to the morgue. Edward saw them bring you from the cliff and came told me, I bit you. To save you"

"She didn't fall" Edward said softly. "She jumped"

"Jumped why would you do that Esme?" Carlise looked between Edward and I.

"Her baby died" Edward said and looked away she could see the sadness on his face. "I'm sorry Esme." he whispered.

"How does he know all that?" Esme asked.

"He can read minds" Carlise explained "I'm really sorry about your baby Esme, I know it cant be easy but.."

"How old are you?" I ask suddenly realizing he hadn't aged a day since I had seen him 10 years ago.

"Old enough, we don't age, and we don't die" he told me.

"Wait, you mean I am forever 26 years old" I was shocked.

"Yeah, I'm stuck at 17" Edward spoke up.

"This can't be happening, I am dreaming! I am gonna wake up soon and go take care of my baby and forget about this strange dream." I turned to walk away but Carlise caught me arm.

"I know how crazy this sounds Esme, but you have the believe me you are a vampire now, this isn't a dream and you can't go back you are a danger to all those humans." Carlise pleaded. "Come with me, Esme, I know you don't believe me and I know your heart is broken right now but I can show you a life full of wonder, full of love. Edward and I want you to come with us, I want you to come with me" he held my eyes with his golden ones.

"I don't..." I started.

"Let me show you something Esme" he took my hand and pulled me towards a little stream not to far away. "Look" he said pointing to the stream.

I looked in the the stream not sure of what I was looking at and then I saw it, my reflection staring back at me, bright red eyes stared back at me but it couldn't be me the woman staring back at me was absolutely beautiful I touched my face I looked so different. I looked back at Carlise, "You, you did this to me?" I stammered.

"Yes" he looked away from me shame, pain, anger all crossed his face.

"Why?" I asked

"Because ever since I meet you, you have been in my thoughts constantly, I have been so worried about you, wondering what had become of you. Then I knew, I read about your marriage course I couldn't be sure it was you so I went to check. You nearly caught me when I was in the garden. I heard what he said to you and it saddened me, you wanted so bad to have a child. Then you disappeared, it came out shortly after that you were pregnant but we had to leave then to find you here of all places, I am starting to wonder if I wasn't drawn to you by some unseen force. When I saw you laying there dieing I couldn't stop myself, I wanted to bad to have you be a part of my life forever. Can you forgive me for being so selfish? Can you forgive me for what I've done?" He asked me.

I didn't know what to say to him, it was so hard to think with the burning in my throat. Try as I may I couldn't get it to go away. I turned and ran through the stream in search of something to drink.

"Shes thirsty" I heard Edward tell Carlise then heard them behind me.

It didn't take to long to find something a small deer. When I finished I looked up to see Carlise and Edward watching me. "Sorry" I muttered.

"Don't be, Edward was much worse." Carlise said.

"To answer your question, I don't know. I am so over whelmed right now I can hardly think right."

"I understand" Carlise nodded. "We will have to move for awhile to keep you away from people. Don't need you hurting anyone accidentally."

I nodded, we returned to the house Carlise packed in record speed. We left that night.

* * *

_Okay one maybe two more chapters left please review the more reviews I get the quicker I will update!_


	13. Perfect Moment

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Twilight I just like to play with the characters**

_Hello all I am horribly sorry about how long it has taken me to post. You wouldn't believe how crazy it has been around here we found out in December that we are expecting another baby and I have been very sick plus taking care of a toddler so fun anyway I have been feeling better so hear is the next chapter I will be updating my other story next if you haven't read it its called __A kink in the Happily Ever After__ please enjoy and review!_

Chapter 12

The perfect moment

CPOV

It seemed like the perfect place, a small town in the middle of Montana. Esme had a lot of room to move around without fear of her hurting anyone. I watched her, as she adjusted to her new life she was withdrawn, hardly spoke Edward assured me it was because she was just grieving for her lost child. It seemed like time had slowed to torture me. She moved about the house cleaning, leaving only to hunt but her misery never seemed to improve.

Months had passed and I had enough as night approached I knew I had to speak with her. "Esme?" I kept my voice low, nonthreatening she was after all a newborn and her instincts weren't quiet under control.

Her body tensed and she spun realized it was me and relaxed. "Yes?" she asked sullenly and turned back to her cleaning.

"Esme, I need to speak with you" I watched as she folded the laundry.

"About?" she asked.

"You're not happy here" it was a statement not a question.

Esme stopped and turned back to me, "It's not that Carlise, I just..." she trailed off.

"Just what?" I demanded.

"Carlise, you and Edward have been great to me and I am grateful for it. It's just when I threw myself off that cliff I wanted to die. I wanted to be with my baby, you took that from me with out my permission." her voice was full of accusation.

I moved closer to her at a human pace and gently placed my hand on her face. "Oh Esme, I know I was selfish but I couldn't live without you. Don't you see, I can give you so much if you let me." my finger tips brushed her face and moved down her jaw bone. "I know it hurts, you lost your baby but Esme beautiful, sweet, caring Esme, it doesn't have to be the end for you. Think about it, if your child could speak to you right now do you think it would be happy seeing his mother in so much pain, do you think he would want you to kill yourself?" I asked her.

Esme looked away and gave a dry sob. I gently brought her to me and wrapped my arms around her. "Let it out Esme, you have kept it in to long." I whispered in her ear. Her body shuddered as she inhaled, in a way I felt bad it was my fault she could never shed a tear for her child.

I held her, unsure of how much time had passed until she pulled away and looked up into my eyes. "I forgive you" she whispered.

EsmePOV

In the days that followed my break down in the kitchen my mood lightened ever so much. Carlise had stepped in and snapped me out of my trance. Made me feel all the things I had been trying so hard to suppress. Though it tore a new hole in my heart, Carlise was patient, understanding, he was there to try and patch me up.

"Where are we going?" I asked Carlise as he led me through the forest at a slow pace for a vampire.

"For a walk" Carlise smiled. "I thought you could use some fresh air, get out of the house, have some fun" he smiled and it filled me with warmth. It was like I was looking at a whole knew man one that had been released from a cage. He was cheerful and happy it was unlike the man I had seen in the recent months. "Here we are!" he said placing his hands over my eyes before I could look. "No peaking it's a surprise" he said in my ear. "Take a few steps forward there you go" he said then removed his hands.

I looked around in wonder the place was beyond beautiful. A waterfall cascaded down a cliff into a pool of water that looked calm and welcoming. The landscape was so beautiful it would have brought a tear to my eye if that were possible. I turned to Carlise and couldn't quiet find the words to express how I was feeling. "How did you find this place?" I finally asked.

"Acually Edward told me about it, beautiful isn't it?" he smiled back.

"Yes" for the first time in a long time I smiled back.

"Would you like to go for a swim?" he asked.

"Sure" I nodded.

"Good" Carlise sprung forward catching me off guard we fell backwards from the cliff into the pool of water below. I quickly surfaced and looked around ready to yell at Carlise but I didn't see him any where. I whipped my head and called for him but he did not surface. Minutes dragged by and I made my way over to the side of the pool I started to pull myself out when arms wrapped around me from behind my body went ridged and my senses on guard. "Easy" Carlise's sweet voice whispered.

"Carlise!" I said relieved, "What? How? You were under so long" Turning in his arms I looked at him he had a huge smile on his face.

"Have you not realised yet, your dead." He chuckled. "We don't need to breath, its just something we do out of reflex."

"There is still a lot I need to learn" I admitted.

"I can teach you, if you'll let me"

I thought for a moment about his words, about the feel of his body against mine. He was gentle even though he needn't be I already knew I wasn't breakable. His hands rested at the small of my back his eyes where filled with tenderness, compassion, love. It was unlike anything I had ever felt before.

"I would, like that" I said after a brief pause.

"Good, come here" his hands slipped away but he caught one of mine in his. "Now hold your breath" he said and pulled me under. I closed my eyes and held my breath as my face went under. He pulled me along gently leading me deeper down. I waited for my lungs to scream for air but it never came. Curious I opened my eyes and looked around, it was beautiful. Fish swam around being careful to avoid us. I could feel the waterfall above waited to see the wall behind it only to be surprised by an under water cave. On we swam until Carlise started to pull me to the surface I went willingly when we broke the surface I gasped it was a large cavern with a rock self.

"This is amazing" I couldn't help but smile "This is so"

"Beautiful" Carlise finished it was then I realised he wasn't talking about the cavern. If I could have I would have blushed.

Carlise spun my around in the water almost as if we were dancing. He spun me again and this time into him. My back pressed against him and I laughed. "If you this good of a dancer in the water I would love to see what you are like on land."

"That could be arranged" he murmured in my ear.

I smiled brightly then turned my eyes locked with his and I swore I could lose myself in their depths. There are moments in life, where time seems to stand still when all there is, is two people there lives forever intertwined, when everything is realised and your purpose in life is laid before you. This was my moment, the perfect moment. His lips parted ever so slightly and he leaned in pausing is if to gauge my reaction I closed the distance and our lips met a spark of electricity went through my body. It was like ever cell in my body was hyper alert ever sensation like a tidal wave. He pulled me tight against him my hands moved up his arms around his neck my hands tangled in his hair and the kiss deepened, there was a passion and intense need between us as if our whole life we had been starved of love and affection. He lifted me from the water and walked us on to the rocky shelf only breaking the kiss for an instant. He lay me on the ground coming to lay right beside me and his lips were back on mine and I never wanted it to end.


End file.
